A Fishy Situation
by Lifebender
Summary: The one-shot continuation of the epic cross over story entitled, The League of Extraordinary Teenagers. Artemis meets a good amount of charaters from other stories. Hermione Granger being one.


A/N – This will somehow fit into the larger story later, but needed to be separate.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters and don't wish to infringe.

* * *

><p><span>How Many People?<span>

Ever since Artemis had stolen fairy magic he had started to see strange things. Some he would allow himself to pass off as minor hallucinations brought on by the residual magic, but one day while stopped at a fancy café in London, he started to notice the same strange sight repeating over and over again.

There would be people, usually dressed in strange robe-like garments who would walk directly toward the space between the two buildings across from him, and then out of the blue, a small pub would appear, they would enter, and the pub would promptly disappear.

"Butler…" he said for the third time that day. "Are you sure you don't see _any_thing?" He pointed at an old man in an outlandish purple garb nearing the pub entrance. "Just there."

Butler looked up from his newspaper once again at Artemis's request. He couldn't see anything out of the ordinary.

"Are you sure it isn't a trick of the sun?" He asked.

"Absolutely not." Artemis replied narrowing his eyes toward the far side of the street.

Butler sighed. It hadn't been the first time Artemis swore he saw something that he couldn't. "This will have to wait, Artemis, I believe that's our man coming now."

Artemis broke from his stare to turn and see a man in a brown coat with a tall top hat to match walking toward them.

"Hmmm…" Artemis pondered with another quick glance back at the vanishing pub and stood up to formally greet the man.

"Good afternoon. My name is Artemis Fowl." He reached his hand out to shake the man's hand.

"Hershel Layton, Professor of Archeology at Greensheller University" the man replied. "Pleased to meet your acquaintance."

Artemis gestured toward his table. "This is my friend and bodyguard Butler, we were about to order lunch."

"How do you do?" Professor Layton said tipping his hat and taking his seat across from them.

"Well." Butler replied putting his paper down. "Its nice to meet you Professor, I've read a lot about you and your exploits." Butler smirked. "Not only a world renowned archeologist, but it seems you've also had a hand in some of London's biggest scandals."

"Not to mention your proficiency when faced with a puzzle…" Artemis added distractedly while staring across the street.

Professor Layton looked over at Artemis amused. "It is peculiar that that tid-bit of my reputation seems to follow me wherever I go…" he let out a small chuckle.

"Anything to drink, sir?" A waitress had come by their table out on the patio.

"A pot of ginger tea please, easy on the milk" the professor ordered.

"Right away" she replied and headed back into the diner.

"So do you often get people coming to you with their problems?" Butler asked.

"Yes, and often quite trifling ones at that. Actually I am a little surprised that you two haven't tried to test my puzzle solving skills yet. I'm just so use to it you see…" the professor went on.

"I bet you rarely get to turn the tables..." Artemis interjected. "Why don't you hit us with a puzzle of your own for the sake of monotony?"

"Oh Ho! But there you have it Mr. Fowl, for in asking for me to divulge a puzzle is a test in itself." Layton replied. "But I will agree I do seldom get the chance to offer a puzzle to strangers, so here you go."

"Three men went fishing together one day. They ended up betting that if any one of them caught more than the other two combined, the other two would have to buy him dinner on the way home. At the end of the day, the men added up their totals with each other to see if anyone had won. The first and second man caught a total of 7 fish, and the second and third man caught a total of 11 fish. Assuming no one won the bet, what's the least amount of fish total that the men brought home that day?"

The waitress returned with the Professor's pot of tea as he finished telling his puzzle.

"Anything to eat?" she asked and seeing the Professor was busy with his tea and Artemis seemed lost in thought, she turned to Butler.

"How about fish?" Butler joked. "I'll have the tuna, medium rare. And I do believe the answer to that puzzle of yours is 12, Mr. Layton. One for the first man, six for the second, and five for the third."

Professor Layton closed his eyes and took a sip of his tea. "I'll have the salmon, well done, please." He told the waitress, and then turned to Butler with a small smile. "So it would seem, but in this case, that is not the answer."

"Huh…" Butler breathed pondering some more. Artemis turned to him.

"Don't be put out, you are going up against one of the greatest minds in all of England here you know." Artemis said. "…and I'll have the Halibut, blackened if you will." He added to the waitress keeping with the fishy theme. "I believe the solution you are looking for is zero, professor. Many a fisherman will go out fishing all day long, and end up throwing all of their catches back. Who's to say these fishermen are any different? Furthermore, the fact that they're playing a game with each other here emphasizes that they were there for sport rather than sustenance. It was even suggested that they planned on buying dinner later, rather than cooking any of their own catches."

"A brilliant deduction." Layton praised. He turned to Butler. "However, your answer would have been correct my good man, if I had asked for the least total amount of fish that the men had caught."

"Interesting… I didn't even pick up that last part as relative information. Very clever." Butler replied smiling.

"Now it's my turn." Artemis said to the professor.

"I wouldn't expect anything else." Layton responded with a smirk, and Artemis started telling his puzzle.

"Two fathers and two sons were counting the fish they had caught that day. Between the two of them, the sons caught eight fish. One father caught two times the amount of fish his son caught, and the other father caught three times the amount of fish hisson caught. If each person caught at least one fish, what is the least amount of possible fish caught when you add all of their amounts together?"

There was a short bit of silence following the conclusion of Artemis's puzzle as both men did the math in their head. Professor Layton turned to Butler, obviously wanting him to have a chance at the thing first.

Butler was a bit more tentative with his answer this time. "If it isn't zero again, I would have to say twenty-five. The two sons' amounts being seven and one."

Artemis shook his head. "It is not zero again, Butler. It would have been too similar to the professor's puzzle. However, your second guess is also incorrect…"

The professor set down his teacup and looked into Artemis's eyes. "While your puzzle won't have the same answer as mine, I believe there are more similarities between the two than it first seems" the professor started, grabbing the brim of his hat and looking at Butler. "Butler, you counted up the total as if there were four men involved, just like it suggests." He turned back to Artemis. "But, just as my puzzle dealt with three men, so does your puzzle. Since there are just three people involved, the answer can be reduced further to twenty fish; One father catching twelve, his son catching six, and the other son catching two."

"But what about the other father in the puzzle?" Butler asked confused. "He caught three times the amount his son did. That would add six more to your total…"

The Professor smiled. "I've already added his six" he said knowingly. "The three men in Mr. Fowl's puzzle are all related: A grandfather, his son, and his grandson. This way, the grandfather's son counts as both a father and a son, and can match both criteria with a total of six fish."

"Very well done professor, your reputation certainly doesn't lie." Artemis extolled.

"Thank you." Layton responded. "I must say you hid the puzzle's trick ingeniously, but will confess that I have heard something similar. I've solved so many puzzles; it seems a rarity to come across something completely fresh now days." He turned to Butler. "Would you like to share a puzzle as well? It seems only fair…"

"No thanks" Butler said. "I wouldn't stand any chance fooling the likes of you two. Besides, I think that's our food coming now, and I would rather be eating the fish than telling puzzles about them."

Artemis and Layton chuckled some from Butler's comment, and they all began eating their lunch.

About halfway through his halibut, Artemis pulled something out of his pocket and said to Layton, "I suppose it's time to talk business, professor."

Professor Layton wiped his mouth with his napkin neatly and replied. "Yes, I believe the museum wanted me to confirm the legitimacy of an item in your possession?"

Artemis turned his hand over to show the professor a precious stone. "It won't take long for a person of your aptitude to determine that this is in fact the genuine"—BANG!—

"ar…ti…cal."Artemis slowly turned his head and gaped at the enormous purple triple-decker bus that had just appeared out of nowhere across the street.

"What in the world?" He breathed.

Butler had already assessed the situation. "Artemis there's nothing there! Snap out of it!"

Artemis came back into reality slightly at his bodyguard's words. "You… can't see it?" Artemis looked back and forth between Butler's concerned face, and Layton's confused face, and then back to the bus, where two figures were exiting.

"I apologize for my outburst." Artemis said composedly. "If you gentlemen will excuse me for a moment, there is a matter I need to look into across the street." He put the gem on the table and rose to exit the patio. Butler started to rise with him, but Artemis quickly waved him down. "I'm just going across the street, Butler. I think I'm old enough now to handle that on my own."

Artemis briskly walked toward the pub two girls were now entering (the bus had already vanished) and was surprised that the door stayed visible to him after it had shut. He felt some strange force compelling him to turn away and take care of other matters, but he was so intrigued by the enigmatic entrance, his curiosity forced him to reach for the handle and slip inside.

Artemis looked around the shadowy tavern and saw many hooded people in large cloaks. There were others, not so covered, who obviously didn't care about their appearance. The place was repulsive, and Artemis was quickly discovering how much he stuck out in the crowd by all the stares he was getting.

But before turning to leave, he caught a bright spot among the filth. The two girls whom he had followed into the pub were talking to the bartender down at the other end of the room. On closer inspection, Artemis found that these two were anything but downtrodden or dirty. One of the girls glanced over at him, and Artemis felt something strange when their eyes made contact. Like all of his rationality and reason deserted him and took his immense vocabulary as a hostage. She was beyond beautiful, like nothing he had ever seen before.

While Artemis was still compelled by the strange desire to leave this place and do other things, he decided he would press his luck and try to find out more about this curious place... and people. As he crossed the pub to the other end of the bar, he noticed that the other girl who had brown, bushy, hair was now staring at him with a bewildered yet serious face. Artemis took a seat a couple spaces away from the girls, and felt a little awkward, so he pulled out his cell phone to message Butler quickly.

"How peculiar…" Artemis heard, a little too closely to his left ear. He turned to find the brown haired girl in his face looking thoroughly intrigued.

"A muggle in the Leaky Cauldron…" she continued. "This is a first."

Artemis felt his heartbeat increase as the bushy haired girl continued to stare at him. On the outside, he remained calm, as always, but could only think of one thing to say.

"I seem to be lost" Artemis started and looked at the girl, "What did you say this place was called?"

"The Leaky Cauldron…" she answered almost immediately. "It connects the streets of London with Diagon Alley. My name is Hermione Granger, and this is—"

"What happened to the whole secretive from non-magical-humans thing you were just telling me about?" asked the other girl coming into view around the first girl. The voice Artemis heard was angelic, and when he looked at her again, this time up close, he completely lost his composure for the second time that day, and could do nothing other than analyze every aspect her perfection. She was unlike any painting or sculpture he had ever seen.

"It won't matter" said the brown haired girl. "He won't be remembering any of this."

"You are…? Why is…?" Artemis tried to ask, but realized he couldn't form a competent sentence while staring at the inhumanly pretty girl and somehow managed to close his eyes. He opened them again looking at the other girl and something clicked.

"Are you going to wipe my memories?" He fought the urge to smirk at the girl's baffled face that followed, and he assumed that his deduction was correct.

"It doesn't work on me." Artemis continued bold face bluffing now. "I've had some experience in the past with these things, and the memories always come back one way or another. I am curious as how you would do it however… didn't your friend just say something about _magic_?"

The brown haired girl was speechless and confused, but the other girl just smiled broadly when he referred to her, showing all of her glinty white teeth.

Artemis was drawn back to staring again, and came to the assumption that she could not be human. She started reaching for his hand and Artemis thought his heart was going to bust out of his chest it was beating so fast.

Their skin made contact and immediately he heard '_My name is Renesme Cullen, and yes, I did say something like that_.' Artemis was so shocked by the voice in his head he jumped off his barstool and ended up slamming his face into the wooden floor, out cold.


End file.
